Without the Hugs and Kisses

xRuth.lessx · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject: Without the Hugs and Kisses

Everyday, my classmates tell me that I live the perfect life: Happy-go-lucky and I seem to have no problems. Well, there is no such thing as a perfect life, right?

Everyday, I go home to an empty house. My mom works, my dad works, my grandma works (she babysits my cousins), and my brother goes along with my mom. When my bro and mother come home, they get all cuddly and kissing and stuff. I envy my brother.

I'm very close to my dad, so I'm daddy's girl. And as stated above, my bro is mama's boy. But that doesn't mean I don't long for motherly love, right?

The only time I get to bond with my mom is during shopping. I'm the star in her eyes. My brother and dad hate shopping, they can't stand me and my mom running from shop to shop and letting them carry the bags. But that ends there. Period.

I hug my dad and occasionally kiss him, since I trust him so much. I tell him all my problems, well, those that I can tell, that is.

But not to my mom. I haven't kissed my mom since ages, and I haven't hugged her since third grade. It all started when my brother (when I was still 8 and he was 3) hugged my mom and started cuddling. So I asked my mom (out of jealousy), "hug me too, mum". She did hug me, but while hugging, she said "haay. You're so old already Yanka. You don't need to be hugged." O.o That hit me. Ever since that, I got so scared to hug my mom, really scared. I only hug her when we have the "family hug" wherein all of us hug one another, but she's always in the opposite side of the circle. I don't even recall her hugging me on my graduation day.

I know my mom loves me, I know she does. But even if I get a 101% in math (which really happened!), she'd just say "Good. I hope that happens all the time." O.o THAT'S IT?! Icon_favorites42

No encouragement or reward or at least SOMETHING?! My dad was all happy and stuff when he heard about it. He even gave me extra allowance. But I already know my dad. He even asked me in one of our talks "What happened, Yanka? You were such a loving baby before. Now, you're not. Maybe it's because of me. Haay. Don't worry. That will all change someday."... He doesn't know that it's not his fault.

I was crying hard last night because of this, that's why I planned on posting it. I was "supposed" to sleep at 11 pm, but I cried and cried 'till 3 am. I want to tell this to my mom, but I'm too scared and shy. Help, please?
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Ailyne · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject:

wow.....thats really, really hard.i suggest you talk to your mom.seriously. i know how hard it is but its better to let her know about your fellings since bottling up emotions can do really bad.im sure it will work out. :)

-ail
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**&&you don't find happiness at the end of the road...you find it along the way...goodbye ASC**

xRuth.lessx · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:23 pm Post subject:

Thanks, Ailyne. I'll try to talk to my mom when I have the chance to tell her privately.
Oh, btw, I pmed you something (:
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NiCA-ChAN · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:39 pm Post subject:

I know what you feel... I all got 90-100 grades at the quarterly test but mom said keep it up...
it's already UP right... sheesh..

//EDiT

maybe you should not be angry at your mom...
it'll be better to tell her that you did your best (I said that to mom) and tell her 'I promise that I'll make it better' ...
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Love is a mysterious thing like inside a box...
Love is where we express our feelings for somebody...
Love is where we send gifts like flowers, chocolates for them to feel our feelings for them...
Love is when a relationship build and build until it became pure...
That's my meaning of love. What's yours and who's your valentines?